marathonmummy

The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start – John Bingham

So. A long run is a learning experience, designed to iron out problems and help to focus your mind on the big day.

Lessons from yesterday:

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Congratulations to Heather, fellow horse lover and 80s chick, who guessed the terrible music I downloaded today.

Heather’s bar of chocolate will be flying over to Ohio this weekend!

Everyone secretly loves a bit of Tiffany. Oh admit it, you do, don’t you?

How lovely, on a horrible rainy day, to receive a Sunshine Award for my blog. It’s from my friend Paula and it’s just what I needed on a day like today. Bring Me Sunshine is a song that Dad used to sing to us when we were little, so it’s brought back some lovely memories after a difficult day yesterday.

In other news, well, there isn’t much really. It’s half term, the treadmill is my only option, and on Tuesday night I did a horrible interval training session, which was one of those runs. I ended up thinking I’d be better off taking up knitting instead (and anyone who has seen the only jumper I ever made knows that’s a bad idea).

Talking of music, I’ve been creating the ultimate running playlist, which is only really suitable for the plodders of this world. I think proper runners like music at about 160bpm. Mine is, er, not.

Zoe and I had a theory that lots of songs with meaning to us would get us round the marathon. Some people might think training would be more helpful, but we’ll gloss over that little detail.

Rod Stewart – Baby Jane and Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? (my dad used to sing these with the windows down in the car, usually in the middle of town, and we would die of embarrassment)
Placebo – Every You, Every Me (reminds me of being pregnant, hence reminds me of birth, which will make running seem like a walk in the park. That’s a bad metaphor. My running speed already IS a walk in the park.)
Pretenders – Back on the Chain Gang
Dirty Pretty Things – Bang Bang You’re Dead
Toni Basil – Mickey (I have no shame)
Come Dancing – Ray Davies (you’ve got it in your head now, haven’t you?)
Killers – Mr Brightside
Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, my legs are on fire)
Scissor Sisters – Take Your Mama Out
Supergrass – Richard III
Monkey Wrench – Foo Fighters
Idlewild – American English
The Automatic – Monster (what’s that coming over the hill? is it a monster…oh no, it’s Rachael, running)
Snow Patrol – Run (haha!)
Foo Fighters – This is a Call
Marilyn Manson – Rock is Dead (and so will I be after 26.2 miles)
Longpigs – She Said
My Chemical Romance – Welcome to the Black Parade
Radiohead – Street Spirit
The Stranglers – No More Heroes
The Go-Gos – We Got the Beat
Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People (not me after running, I look like a beetroot)
The Knack – My Sharona (RIP Doug Fieger)
The House of Love – Shine On (reminds me of school)
The Fray – How to Save a Life (will make me cry, but that’s okay)

Any suggestions, anyone? I’ve already had a few: how I could I forget Don’t Stop Me Now and Keep On Running, as well as the Glee soundtrack? Thanks C and G!

I started this post this afternoon in a half term grump, but I’m finishing it on an endorphin high after 50 minutes on the treadmill. It was just a plod, but every mile counts. Every boring mile on the treadmill, and every boring mile on my own on featureless country roads will be worth it.

2 months, 6 days, 14 hours, 8 minutes, and counting. London, here I come.

8am, Sunday. Normal people are sleeping, or having breakfast and enjoying a lie in. Running people are putting on their trainers and strapping on their heart monitors. Not that I’m suggesting that runners are weird, obviously…but I could have been having a bacon roll in bed and instead I was out for a ten mile run.

Legs: We hurt! Ow!
Me: Oh come on, legs, I know I did a little bit of faster running yesterday and then forgot to stretch, but you’ll be okay in a minute once you warm up.
Legs: (sullenly) We still hurt. Our shins are sore.
Me: (running slowly, ignoring legs)

iPod: Hahahaha, you liked the shuffle the other day. Well, today you’re going to suffer. Manic shouty stuff from The Prodigy okay with you?
Me: It’s only half eight in the morning, I can’t do beeps and screeching yet.

Legs: We don’t want to run today. We want to sit down on the couch whilst you eat chocolate.
Me: Oh come on legs, we’ll just jog gently up to the next telegraph pole then we can walk.
Legs: Hrmph. Only if you promise to stretch us.

Rain starts.

iPod: Here you are, have a bit of depressing Johnny Cash
Me: Dire Straits yesterday, and now this? Are you having a joke?
Johnny Cash: I will let you down…I will make you hurt…
Me: Thanks Johnny, you’re not really helping here.
Legs: He has a point. We’re giving up.
Me: Fine. We’ll sit on this fire hydrant thingy on the grass verge. I don’t mind sitting on a roadside looking stupid for five minutes. We’ve got miles to go yet.
Legs: Not if we don’t want to. We might just make you walk home.

five minutes later

Me: Look at me, I’m running like a proper running person!
Legs: We’re fine, we are. We never said we couldn’t run, we just didn’t want to.

runrunrun

Bladder: Why did you have a big glass of water before you left the house?
Me: Oh shut up, it wasn’t that big. Just reabsorb it and stop moaning.
Bladder: I need the loo.
Me: runrunrunrunrun (ignoring)

five more minutes later

Bladder: I need the loo, I need the looooooooooo
Me: Right, that’s fine. When we get to the next village, I’ll ask someone if I can use their loo.
My mother: (what’s she doing here?) You can’t just knock on a stranger’s door and ask to use their loo, they might chop you into pieces and put you in their freezer.
Bladder: Hello? Getting desperate here…
Me: (not running any more, too tricky with legs crossed)
Bladder: Just pee behind a hedge. Paula Radcliffe did it during the London Marathon. You’ll be like a REAL runner then.
Me: But there are people in cars, and walking their dogs. And I don’t even have a tissue.
Bladder: Yes you do, it’s in your pocket. Did I mention I need the loo?

five more rather desperate minutes

Bladder: That hedge will do! Or that one!
Me: (mortified)
Bladder: That’s it, climb over that gate – you know you want to…
Me: (let’s gloss over this part)

Legs: Oh you are so embarrassing. We’re going to run quite fast now, so we don’t have to be seen with you.
Bladder: Ooh, that’s better. Isn’t that better? Admit it, you feel better.
Me: (wondering what it’s like to run without body parts having a conversation with you)

runrunrun, through village, up hills, down hills, past cyclists, runrunrun, look at me, I’m running!

Coccyx: Hello
Me: Oh for f*cks sake, what now?
Coccyx: You broke me a few years ago, d’you remember?
Me: Oh GO away. Why didn’t I drug you all with ibuprofen before I left?
Coccyx: (sullen mutterings)

runrunrun walkwalkwalk runrunrun

Me: Come on legs, you can do it!
Legs: We hate you. Running is stupid. Can we have a bath when we get home?
Shoulders: We don’t want to trouble you, but we’re a little bit sore…

I can’t believe it’s taken me 9 months to discover the joy of running with music! Being a bit low tech, I don’t have my own iPod, so I borrowed Mr Marathonmummy’s MP3 player, hit shuffle and suddenly I can see what all the fuss is about.

run run run
Fall Out Boy (This Ain’t a Scene…oh, I love this song and I’m all fired up with marathon excitement)
run run run
Radiohead (Street Spirit, perfect song)
run run run
Placebo (Every You, Every Me – tempo matches my ultraslow running)
run run run
Elastica (Connection – haven’t heard this for years, can’t think about running because I’m reminiscing about university)
run run run
The Sundays (note to self: singing along uses up vital breath, also makes me look deranged)
run run run
Editors (Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors)
oh this song is sad. Now I’m crying and running. This is good training for the marathon. I miss my dad. When I did the Race for Life a few years ago the messages written on people’s t-shirts made me cry, and this marathon is going to be a box of tissues job.

run run run
The Proclaimers (Cap in Hand)
was feeling a bit tired, but am now fired up with Scottish fury
run run run
Deacon Blue (Dignity)
run run faster run, fired up with Scottish fervour and remembering being fifteen
run run Dire BLOODY Straits? Stop. Manic Street Preachers, that’s better. Home. Yay, love running with music. Must try not to get squished by a car though.

I only went out for a quickie for half an hour whilst no1 did ballet class – but the good news is that despite running faster, my average heart rate is 10 beats lower than it was the other day. I’m getting fitter, my Garmin says so. Yippee.

(PS please excuse slight bonkersness of this post. Still operating on Bulgarian body clock, spent the afternoon digging up the allotment of doom, and am completely exhausted and incoherent.)